Having kids resembles living in a fraternity house – no one dozes, everything's broken, and there's a considerable measure of hurling.
Beam Romano http://happyfathersdayquotesimages.com/
I gave my dad $100 and stated, 'Get yourself something that will make your life less demanding.' So he went out and purchased a present for my mom.
Rita Rudner
You can tell what was the greatest year of your father's life, since they appear to solidify that attire style and ride it out.
Jerry Seinfeld
The main Father's Day convention in my family is the yearly discussion he and I have where I say, 'Hello, Dad, what do you need for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mother what I ought to get him and she says, 'He enjoys sandalwood cleanser, dangly gems and Chanel No 5 scent.
Michael Showalter
Marriage resembles a pine box and each child is another nail.
Homer Simpson
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